I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
