I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
