At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
