How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
