So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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