...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
