Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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