let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
