glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
