We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
