she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
