Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
