The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
