i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
