I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
