This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
