we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
birth control should be required to get into college
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
