On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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