You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
