im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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