omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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