like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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