dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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