No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
