remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm getting married
To pizza
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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