My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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