5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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