I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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