I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
