How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Pooping to opera.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
