so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
