After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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