he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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