let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I die, sorry about rent.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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