She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i think im in europe. pls send help
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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