Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
