party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
