By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
