Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
