I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
