beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
