Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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