By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
