When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
