oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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