Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
