We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
