john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
