can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
