I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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