Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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