I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
