I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
