I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
